Never Ending Angel Tears
by BloodyTeddyBear
Summary: "No! It's not real. Nothing is real! I'm supposed to be..." T because i'm a bit paranoid. Currently on hiatus.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello Everyone! So this was actually my first idea that i made for a story. I was a little skeptical about actually writing it, but i hope you like it. It is kinda depressing and I can assure you now, that I am not a depressed person. I just have a bit of a twisted mind. I'll be uploading hopefully every other week. I'll be switching uploading between my Light and Dark story. I hope you enjoy and I shall see you soon!**

**-BloodyTeddyBear**

(Lucy POV)

I choked and my eyes widen. Blood dripped down my shirt and pooled near my feet. The taste of metal filled my mouth.

I fell to my knees and looked down.

A dagger was plunged through my heart.

"I am sorry. I was too weak."

Tears dragged down my face as I collapsed onto the wooden floor. Blood dripped out of my mouth and through the crevices of the wood.

Black began to cloud my vision as I felt myself falling out of consciousness.

I coughed again and felt cold. Like I was frozen in ice. There was something warm nearby, but I couldn't reach it.

I finally felt the black fully embrace me as I fell limp.

Tears. Tears fall down my face.

I was covered in darkness. Floating in nothingness.

I was gone. Never to be found.

I cried. I am gone. Empty. Lifeless. A ghost. Dead.

Regret fills me as I cry harder.

The things I could have accomplished. The places I could have gone. The people I could have met. The experiences I could have had.

But I was weak.

I was unworthy.

I didn't deserve any of those things.

I am dead.

I am floating in the madness that is death. I grasp my throat.

What do I do?

Where do I go?

Who do I see?

How?

I clutch my head in frustration and scream.

A terrifying, painful, pitiful scream.

When nothing but my echo resounds, I cry.

I weep.

Until I hear voices.

Then light.

I am ecstatic.

The light fades to a forest.

I frown.

Why am I tortured with my imaginations of still living?

Something moves.

A squirrel? A mouse? A cat?

No. Too small.

A bear? Tiger? Wolf?

No. Too big.

A human?

Yes. A human.

Why must I be tortured so?

Pink. Pink hair.

No. I don't want- I mustn't see- it isn't-

But it is.

Tears march down my cheeks uncontrollably.

I don't want to see him.

I fall to my knees making a stick crack.

His ears twitch and he looks to me.

A pathetic, crying me.

But how? How can he see me? I am dead. A corpse.

He walks to me and offers his hand. I look up to his worried face.

Those onyx eyes that held so much fire. The teeth that could pierce through flesh. The pink ruffled hair. The white scaly scarf given to him by a dragon.

Natsu Dragneel.

One of the people who helped break my heart.

He is now staring at me, motioning for me to take his calloused hand. I refuse.

This isn't real.

Everything is fake.

My fingers grasp the grass and steal its life, making it grey.

"No." I choke.

"Get up." He says.

"This isn't real." I plea.

"It's all fake." I state.

"I shouldn't be here. I can't be here. Nothing is real!"

His eyes narrow and he grabs my arm, pulling me into a hug.

I realize that he is taller than me now. My height stops at his abdomen.

Am I shorter?

I pull out of his embrace an rush to a nearby pond. I fall to my knees to look at my reflection.

I am not me.

Blue eyes. Black hair. Black lace dress. Pale skin. Blue tinted lips. 8- year old body.

"I'm not me. This isn't me. Me is not this. I... I ... What is going on?" I shouted breaking into more tears.

"This isn't real. It can't be." I pulled my knees to my chest and buried my face in between.

"Excuse me. Are you alright?" I forgot he was there.

"You aren't real. I'm not real. Nothing is real. I'm not... I'm supposed to be..." I sobbed.

I felt his hand on my shoulder. I felt his sympathy. No I heard his sympathy. His thoughts. I could hear his thoughts? I could hear his thoughts!

What is wrong with me? I'm supposed to be dead. In that cold, dark world. Where I would pity myself. Where I could reflect on everything and accept being dead.

This isn't dead. I'm real. I'm not being crushed by madness. I'm not dead. At least. I think I'm not.

"Where am I, Natsu?" I whispered, knowing he would hear.

"You are in the East Forest. How did you not know? Why do you know my name?"

"Mind reading I think. I'm supposed to be somewhere else though. I don't know why I'm here. It was dark. I liked it. Now it's light and I'm reminded of... Sadness. The sadness I had." Why am I rambling?

"Get up." He demanded as he turned my head to look at him. "You said 'had'. Don't be sad anymore. Be happy. Staying in the dark isn't healthy. Especially for someone so small like you." He grabbed my arm and forced me up into another hug.

"The light isn't sad. So don't be sad." My face stayed emotionless. "Be happy." He commanded.

"I can't be happy." I said softly.

"Of course you can be happy."

"No. I can't. My face won't show happy." He pulled away from the hug and looked at my emotionless face. His eyebrows furrowed.

"We'll fix that."

"Who is we?"

"Fairy Tail." He said smiling that toothy grin that I used to find hope from. He started to pull me towards Fairy Tail.

"No."

"Huh?"

"I said no. I'm not supposed to be happy. If I was supposed to be happy, then I would be stuck with a happy face. But I'm not. I'm stuck with this face." I felt more tears fall.

"Just because you look one way, doesn't mean you have to act like it. Like Gajeel."

"Who?" I asked like I didn't know.

"Gajeel. He is a metal headed idiot, but he has a soft side. He almost killed my friend Lu-," he paused with a sad expression, "my old friend once because of money. Now, he is part of the guild though and is friends with a bookworm." He laughed.

"Who is your 'old friend'?" I asked hoping it was me.

"Her name was Lucy. She used to be my best friend." He said with teary eyes. He looked to the ground.

"Was?" I questioned.

"It's a long story." He frowned.

"I'm not busy."

He sighed "Well one of my other friends came back 'from the dead', she wasn't really dead, but that's a different story. Anyways, she came back and I was so excited to see her I forgot about Lucy. She asked me to go on missions with her, but I was too busy with my other friend," He looked away trying to hide tears, " I decided to go on a mission with her one day, but it went badly."

"What happened?" I asked wanting to know his point of view.

"The mission was to take down a dark guild. I decided that I would take the stronger mages and show off. She finished her part easily, I guess I underestimated her," He smiled a sad smile, "she got stronger after all that time that I ignored her," his frown returned, "So I was fighting and she decided that she would help me. They were stronger than I thought. We fought together for a while and I started to get tired. Next thing I know, she was shouting for me to look out. I heard her coughing and looked to her. She..." He coughed, "she had a dagger plunged through her heart." He looked away and started to cry, " I finished fighting all of the dark mages and I rushed to her side. She said she was sorry. Sorry for being too weak. I trued to tell her she wasn't weak. I tried to carry her to the guild and have Wendy help, but I got there too late. She was dead." He sobbed.

"Oh. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I was rambling. You were just curious. I'm sorry for making you feel bad."

I tried to smile but it came out as more tears.

He sniffled and wiped his nose on his sleeve, "So you already know that I'm Natsu. What's your name?"

My name? I can't use my real name. It wouldn't sound right. I'm a different person, or I think I'm a person. It's like a new character in a story. This is where being a writer comes in handy. It's still difficult. I guess that will do.

"Hart. Elle Hart." I replied.

He smiled, "It is nice to meet you Elle. Are you a Mage?"

I don't know what I am, but I feel magic inside of me. "Yes."

"Do you want to come with me to Fairy Tail?"

"Your guild?"

"Yeah. Why not?"

"Sure."

He grabbed my hand and dragged my towards Fairy Tail.

Fairy Tail. Home. I inwardly smiled and felt light. I felt a picture of wings in my head. Next thing I knew my back became heavy.

I looked behind me and saw them. White wings.

I am dead.

But I am an angel.

No.

DONE

**So this was chapter 1. I hope you enjoyed. Please review and all that good stuff. I shall see you soon!**

**-BloodyTeddyBear**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello everyone! So here I am, with chapter 2. I think each chapter will range from 1800 to 2600 words. This one was pretty long. I hope you are liking it so far. Please review, I like knowing everyone's opinions on my stories. I hope you enjoy and I shall see you soon!**

**-BloodyTeddyBear**

(Lucy's Perspective)

I am dead.

But I am an angel.

No.

No!

I thought if the wings disappearing and they did.

I sighed in relief as nobody saw. We were in the middle of the forest after all.

"We are almost there. Just a little longer." We were nearing the edge of the forest. I'm not tired at all.

"Here it is! Fairy Tail." He grinned his stupid grin at me. I looked to my home. I didn't notice that my cheeks were heavily coated in tears until i felt his thumb on my cheek.

I looked to see his concerned face, but he quickly shook it off.

He grabbed my waist and threw me on his back. "What are you doing?" I asked monotonously.

"Well you aren't wearing shoes and your feet are really dirty. We also have been running for a long time so..."

"Alright." I replied. With that Natsu bounded into the guild. He slammed the door open with a kick and said, no, screamed that he was back. I felt like he burst my eardrums.

Everyone soon got into a fight. Oh Fairy Tail. I felt more tears fall down my new face. Why am I different? I'm basically the opposite of what I used to be.

"Hey there," Someone said. I looked to find my favorite bookworm, Levy. "You are new right?" I nodded and she stuck out her hand. "I'm Levy McGarden, what's your name?" I looked to her smiling face and grabbed her hand. It's different that her hands are almost twice the size as mine.

"I am Elle. Elle Hart." I replied emotionlessly.

"Well, it's nice to meet you Elle. Are you going to join the guild?"

"Yes. Yes I am."

"Oh great! What kind of magic do you have?"

I paled. But by the looks on the bookworm's face I was normal. At least current normal. "I have angel magic." I felt myself pour out in response.

Her eyebrows raised. "Angel magic? I don't think I've heard of that before. It must be cool though right?"

"Yeah. I only have a few spells that I've mastered though. I'm pretty weak." I said modestly. I really have no idea how to use my magic right now. I'm just going with my gut.

"Weak? I doubt you're weak. Well, knowing Fairy Tail, you'll be a great Mage in no time!" She boasted. "We will be best friends from now on alright?" She continued."Hey, Elle? How old are you?"

I inwardly gasped. By my body I'm eight, but inside I'm still seventeen. "I'm eight years of age." I said.

Her eyes widened. "Really? Eight? You seem so mature!" She go on her knees and pinched my cheeks. After a few seconds she let go and looked at me with worried eyes. "Elle, are you alright?" She neatly placed her hands on her knees.

"I'm fine."

"But you're crying."

"I am aware."

"Why?"

"I actually have no idea myself. The tears just don't stop."

She looked to me with empathy in her eyes. Then she stood and smiled. "We can change that though."

"How?"

"Fairy Tail is like a big family. So we are basically family now. And family always helps each other out." She smiled even wider.

We walked to Mirajane to get my stamp. White on my right hand. Pink would get everyone to remember of the bad memory. Afterwards we walked outside.

"Thank you Levy-chan."

Her eyes widened at the remembrance of her diseased friend.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring up bad memories Levy." I waved my hands in front of my face. I felt flustered and embarrassed.

Her eyes softened. "I'm sorry that I made you feel that way. It's just that my fri- my old friend used to call me that."

"Lucy. Lucy Heartfilia." I whispered.

"How did you know?"

"I'm sorry. It's just that Natsu was talking about her earlier. I just assumed that it would be the same person. No I didn't assume I heard your thoughts on accident and I don't know how to control it." I rambled monotonously.

She placed her hand on my shoulder. I looked up to her. "It's alright. No one says her name anymore since she..." The bookworm trailed off.

"Left?" I asked, trying not to make it sound so sad.

"Yeah. Since she left." She looked away.

"Levy," I said looking down to my shoeless feet. "How long has it been?" I saw a few of my tears fall onto the concrete ground.

She took a while for her reply. "Seven weeks." She stated quietly. I heard her sad thoughts and felt her tears.

"I'm sorry for your loss." I said while trying to comfort her. I put my hand in hers and squeezed. This is where my old smile would have come in handy.

She sniffled and perked up. "No don't be. It was just unexpected and she was my best friend. Some people took it differently than others. I happen to be more depressed though. Like her old teammates. They took it the worst." We stayed hand and hand for a few minutes until I finally spoke again.

"Could you show me her grave?"

She gave a sweet smile and lightly pulled me to the back of the guild and then to the side where there was the beginning of the forest.

There it was. Adorned with flowers of all colors and pictures of me. The past me. I stood in front of it then sat on my knees. I felt a parade of tears fall down my face.

"Here lies our beloved Lucy Heartfilia. A wonderful mage who loved her friends dearly. She shall never be forgotten." It read in the grey stone.

I placed my index finger on the letters and dragged it across the grave.

I really am dead. My body is seven feet under this very grass.

I dropped my hand to the ground.

I felt Levy's memories flood my brain.

(Levy's memories) ((Lucy's perspective but through Levy's eyes))

I heard doors fly open to show a very bloody Natsu with something in his hands. He was breathing heavily and you could see from a close range that he had tears on his cheeks.

"Help her. Please. I can't help her. Someone please." He croaked as he fell to his knees sobbing.

My sight wandered to what he was holding and I immediately felt tears cloud my eyes. I felt myself move towards Natsu.

"Wendy!" I heard myself call. The little girl rushed to Natsu.

"Please. Help her." He cried, still holding the something close to his chest. He was sobbing as Wendy put her hands to the something to heal it.

I felt myself shivering as I held my hand to my mouth.

Wendy fell back exhausted and crying. "I'm sorry. I can't. She's..." The twelve year old couldn't continue as she began to sob uncontrollably. Her white cat rushed to her side as well as the blue cat to Natsu. The cats comforted their best friends the best they could.

"Lucy." He whispered with a scratchy voice. He dropped the something to the wooden ground to the entrance of the guild.

"Lucy." I heard myself whisper. I stated at my body. It was covered in blood. The dagger was no where to be seen but Natsu's favorite scarf was stained as it was used to stifle the blood at the fatal wound.

Everything went black as the memory faded.

(Lucy's normal perspective)

The black faded into single blades of grass.

I was laying on the ground and Levy was furiously shaking my shoulder.

"I'm sorry Levy. I saw your memory and I've never done that before. I'm awake though."

She sighed and picked me up onto her hip. She wrapped my arms around her neck and my legs around her waist. "It's alright Elle. I was just scared." She grinned and she walked us back inside the guild.

I nuzzled my face into the bookworm's neck. "Thank you Levy." I felt myself drift from consciousness and I fell into a dreamless sleep.

I awoke to several familiar faces.

My old team.

I felt a few silent tears fall from my face.

"Hey Elle!" Natsu said.

"Hello." I replied.

"This us my team and I want you to meet them." I nodded in response.

"Hello Elle, I am Erza Scarlet. You may call me Erza." The scarlet haired Mage said. She gave me her hand to shake. Her hand was huge as well.

"I'm Gray Fullbuster." The unknowing naked man said.

"Clothes." I whispered.

"Gahhh!" The ice Mage screamed as he ran to find his clothes.

"I'm Happy!" The flying blue cat said.

"My name is Wendy Marvell." The twelve year old with pig-tails said.

"It's nice to meet you all." I said. We talked about their magic and their lives. It's difficult to hear their stories again.

"I'm going to go take a job now." I stood from the table and walked to the request board. I pulled a job that was 115,000 jewel that was to capture bandits.

I walked over to Mirajane to get it approved.

"Are you sure you want to take this job alone, Elle?" She asked.

"Yes." I stated. She looked at me and reluctantly stamped the paper.

I walked out of the guild only to find Natsu following me from behind bushes.

"I can do this on my own." I said. "Go back to the guild Natsu."

"How did you know i was following you?" He asked.

"I heard your thoughts. The answer is no. You cannot come with me."

"Why not? You picked a tough job for an eight year old." Oh how I wanted to say I wasn't a kid.

"Fine. I'm getting 100,000 of the jewels though."

"Yes!" He said in triumph.

We walked forward with him behind me. He was trying to protect me from random citizens along the way.

"The train?" He asked.

"Yes."

"Can we walk?"

"No."

"Why?" He pouted.

"I took this job wanting to go alone. You decided to join me. So you follow my rules."

"Bleh." He mimicked vomit sounds as we walked into the train.

When it started moving, he flopped onto the nearest seat and pulled his hands over his mouth.

"Just go to sleep." I said.

He replied with gagging sounds.

"Same old Natsu." I thought sadly to myself.

I heard the train stop and Natsu jumped in happiness. I dragged him out of the train. He was so heavy.

"Client's house first." I said.

We walked to a small mansion and asked the maids to go inside.

"Ah. Someone has accepted my request. Thank you." The old man with an unusually large nose said. "I am Rhy Noceros."

Natsu stiffed a laugh at the client's name.

"It is a pleasure to meet you Mr. Noceros. I am Elle and this is Natsu." I said to the old man.

He smiled. "So about the job, all I need from you is to capture some bandits that have been stealing from the richer citizens in the village. There are only a few bandits and they reside in the forest somewhere. If you succeed, I will give you 115,000 jewels."

"We will gladly accept this mission Mr. Noceros." I said monotonously.

I stood to shake his hand. Then we walked away.

"Be careful Elle dear." He said with a frown.

"Of course, Mr. Noceros." I said.

He looked surprised but smiled.

I started to walk towards the forest.

"Elle?" Natsu asked.

"Yes?"

"How did you hear Mr. *Pft* Rhy Noceros say to be careful?"

I stopped walking and tilted my head. "What do you mean?"

"He whispered very quietly. I could barely hear him."

"Really?" He nodded. "Hmm. I guess I have advanced hearing now." I said while resuming walking.

"What do you mean 'now'." He asked.

I felt more tears fall down my face. "I'm different than I used to be, Natsu."

"How so?"

"I used to smile. I didn't have this hair, these eyes, this personality. These tears." I whispered the last part.

"What happened?"

"My heart broke."

He looked at me confused, but I kept walking.

"Thirty meters north then underground is their base." I said.

He stopped walking and started getting ready to jump in and knock everyone out.

"Be quiet and follow me. I have a plan." I said.

I walked to the entrance and grabbed some dirt to rub on myself. I rolled down into the hole and thought of sad memories that I knew would make me cry more.

"Hello?" I asked.

I heard some grunts an snickers. Then I heard a fat man walk towards me. "Hello little girl. What are you doing in the woods all by yourself?" He kneeled to look at my face.

"Are you good guys or bad guys?" I asked.

"There is only me here and I am very good." He said.

"Him." I pointed to a dark corner. "He is bad." I heard the bandit in the corner shift in his spot.

"What do you mean? There is no one there?"

"You are an idiot." I said.

I punched his face and kicked his thigh. Then all of the other bandits jumped out of their spots.

They all had small daggers but when I saw them, they floated away. Some growled. They all attacked eventually.

After about five minutes of punching, kicking, and squealing? I walked back out with a large rope that was attached to all of the bandits.

Natsu looked at me surprised. "How did you-?"

"They were stupid." I replied with only one tear on my face.

"Well?" I asked.

"Well what?"

"Carry them."

"What?"

"The bandits. I can't carry them."

"Oh!" He picked up the large group of unconscious bandits and we walked back to Mr. Noceros' house.

"Done." I said to the old man.

His eyebrows shot up. "Fantastic! Fairy Tail mages work very fast."

He asked his maid to get the money and she came back only a minute later with a large bag. "Here you are. 115,000 jewels. Thank you."

"You're welcome Mr. Noceros. The stolen items are in their hideout in the woods." I said as I clutched the bag that was surprisingly light, but very awkward to carry in my small arms.

Natsu took the bag and swung me on his back. "Bye!" He said as we walked away from the mansion.

"So how did your first job go?" Natsu asked.

"Easily. I'm only giving you money because I don't need all of it and you carried the bandits. I'm not giving you any more." I said monotonously.

He chuckled and kept walking to the train station. I rested my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes.

Memories of old missions flooded me and so did the tears.

"Hey Elle," Natsu interrupted my thoughts.

"Hmm?"

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine."

"Do you cry because of your feelings?"

"Yes. I was remembering some things a moment ago."

"Oh. You can talk to me about stuff if you want to."

"Alright Natsu. I'm going to take a nap. Don't hurl on me while we're on the train." I placed my head on his back and closed my eyes again.

"I won't." He said softly. I could hear him smiling.

I soon fell asleep.

DONE

**So this was chapter 2. I hope you enjoyed it. Please review and all that stuff. I hope you like this story so far and I shall see you soon!**

**-BloodyTeddyBear**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello everyone! Here is chapter three, finally. I have been writing this chapter, on and off for a few weeks. I kept getting writer's block. Why? No clue. Please review, thank you everyone who has already, it makes me so happy. I hope you enjoy and I shall see you soon!  
-BloodyTeddyBear**

(Lucy's POV)

I awoke to the sound of a train whistle. The world was blurry.

I felt a heartbeat. Mine?

I frantically clutched my hand to my chest, searching for the familiar beat of the living. There was none.

Right. Dead. Angel.

I will never call myself that. Angel. Never.

Whose heartbeat was that?

Dum Dum.

Dum Dum.

Dum Dum.

Then I realized where I was.

On the back of the pink haired dragon slayer. Of course. We were on a train going home.

Why am I so tired?

I groaned and stretched my fingers. Natsu turned his head.

"Oh. Your awake."

"Mmhmm."

"We are almost back to the guild."

"Mmm." I still felt groggy.

"Elle, do you have a house anywhere?"

"Once. Not anymore though."

"Do you want to come with me then?"

"Sure."

We arrived at Natsu's house. It was still a pig sty.

...(Flashback)

"I'm going to stay at his house! Wait until he gets a taste of his own medicine!" I laughed evilly.

I ended up cleaning his house.

...(End)

He put me down and I almost stepped on a pile of crumpled papers. It was obvious that he at least tried to keep it clean. One of the walls was covered by a large blanket. I remembered it to be where he put all of his missions. He must not want to remember them or something.

He pulled out the mission sheet and slapped it on a random table with a small pile of papers. He put down the bag of jewels and patted Happy's head. Happy was sleeping on a hammock.

Happy. I almost forgot about him. Where has he been? Isn't he always with Natsu?

Natsu disappeared somewhere and I walked over to the wall with the missions. I carefully peeled away the blanket and immediately felt my cheeks flood with tears.

All of the missions were still there. Even my last one, which had a large red 'X' on it.

...(Flashback)

"Lucy! Let's go on a mission!"

"Oh. Sure Natsu! Do you want me to get Gray and Erza?" I asked.

"Nah. They are on their own missions right now." He said.

"What about Lisanna?"

"She left with Mirajane and Elfman."

"Oh. Alright."

"Natsu, Lucy. I feel sick." A blue exceed whined.

"How many fish did you eat this time Happy?" Natsu asked.

"Only 53."

"Stay home for this mission, alright?"

"Okay Natsu."

.

"This one is perfect!" He exclaimed.

"What is it?"

"Take down a dark guild called Bright Shadow."

"Are you sure we can handle it alone?"

"Of course! I am a dragon slayer!"

"That doesn't have anything to do with fighting dark guilds Natsu." I grumbled.

"Don't doubt me Lucy." He pouted.

"Fine Natsu. Let's go!"

...(End)

I felt a sad smile conquer my face.

We really should have waited for some help.

"Natsuuuuu!" A squeaky voice screamed.

"Happy, what?"

"There is a weird person in our house!"

...(Flashback)

"Lucy's weird."

"Aye, Lucy is a weirdo!"  
...(end)

Natsu came rushing down the stairs and fell onto his face. He looked up at Happy and I.

"Oh that's Elle. She is going to live with us for a while." He said calmly.

"Well, she is a weirdo! She was looking at the wall and she is crying." Happy examined.

"Oh she always cries." Natsu explained. "It is kind of weird." He added.

I tried to glare at the idiot. "I heard that."

"I whispered. How could she hear me?" He said while barely moving his lips.

"Advanced hearing. I explained that earlier, did I not?"

"Creepy." Happy sang as he floated away. Creepy? I'm not creepy.

"Where do I sleep?" I asked, changing the subject.

"Upstairs. There is an extra room next to the second bathroom." Natsu said.

Second bedroom? That must have been the storage room I found. Hopefully it is clean. "Thank you, Natsu." I followed the stairs to a very small bedroom. "My bed?" I whispered to myself as I stared at it. Everyone at the guild must have taken something to remember me by. I always found Natsu randomly sleeping on my bed whenever I went home, so that is probably why it is here. I sat down on the pink comforter that smelled like strawberries and remembered all of the times my friends invaded my house.

...(Flashback)

"My bed!" I kicked Natsu off of my bed.

"Don't read that!" Gray was reading my story.

"Why are you looking there?!" Erza was observing my dresser.

...(Flashback end)

I saw a few tears drop onto the comforter and lifted my hand to my cheek. I sniffled. I wonder if everything would be normal if I was just stronger. Maybe I would still be alive. Or maybe I would have only had a few injuries when going back from the mission. I could have been on my bed in my old apartment trying to shoo away Natsu and Happy. Or I could have been moping because Natsu wouldn't join me on a mission I picked. But I can't change the past.

I wish I could.

"Elle! Happy and I are going to the guild. Are you coming?" Natsu interrupted my thinking.

"Yes." I replied as I stood and walked downstairs. I played with my hair on the walk to the guild. The two best friends were unusually quiet.

'I miss Lucy.' A squeaky voice rung through my head.

"Happy?" I asked.

"Aye!"

"Did you say something?"

"No." He replied hesitantly. I shrugged my shoulders and continued walking.

From what seemed like a mile away, I could hear the mages of Fairy Tail brawling. They will never change.

My steps got heavier and heavier until I used the rest of my strength to crawl onto Natsu's back. My eyes drifted closed and the world went black.

...

I felt poking on my cheek. "Please stop, Happy." The poking ended and my eyes adjusted to my surroundings. Chairs being thrown in random directions, drinking contests were being held, a person was eating metal in a corner, the floor was flooded with beer and water from an emotionally unstable person, rivals were being named. Fairy Tail.

"Elle, me and the team are going on a mission. Do you want to come with us?" Natsu asked from behind me.

"What kind of mission?" I responded.

"To defeat a dark guild called 'Pierced Skull'." He replied. Dark guild? That was how I died.

"Sure." Before I knew it, words spilled out of my mouth. Natsu smiled and called Erza, Gray, Wendy, and Lisanna.

"Let's go." Erza said. I yawned and dragged my feet out of the guild. Why am I so tired?

I felt a fluttering in my chest and stopped moving. I clutched my hand to my skull and silently screamed in pain. My brain pounded against my skull, and my throat felt constricted. My mouth was dry, and my teeth were chattering. There was a stabbing feeling in my chest, and I felt slices of a sword against my arms. There were muffled voices in the distance, but my vision was reduced to green and brown. What is this feeling?

My senses returned to normal, and everything looked realistic. The pain ended and wind blew through my hair. My partners for the mission were far ahead, and didn't seem to notice that I was in pain. I ran to them and hopped onto Erza's back, hoping it would ease my pain. She stiffened and slowly turned her head to me. I dug my head into her shoulder and muttered "sorry". I clutched my arms around her neck and wrapped my legs around her torso. Then everything went black.

I blinked and looked around me. Everything was black.

Am I dead again?

What happened?

I heard voices and felt pressure on my chest.

What is this?

The black faded into grey, and the grey turned into green.

Green molded into other colors and shaped a forest and red hair.

Am I awake?

I reached my hand to Erza's hair to give it a tug. Nails dug into my thighs and I realized that everything was real.

"We are almost there." Gray said from beside me. I tilted my head to look at him. Shirtless, like always.

"You have no shirt." I said quietly. He screamed and ran to find some clothes.

The rest of the way was quiet, and thoughts rushed through my head randomly. I couldn't shape them into singular thoughts, but I caught a few words of one phrase. 'No one will die here.' It was a deeper voice, so it wasn't one of the girls'. It certainly wasn't Gray's because he was looking for his shirt that he lost for the third time since I had awoken. Natsu? Could he be thinking about my death?

I doubt it.

He was holding Happy and standing near Lisanna in front of Erza and I. Every now and again, he would glance at us. I saw his face, it held a determined look.

There was a magical presence nearby. "Look out." I said, loud enough for everyone to hear. Natsu looked around and a Mage attacked him from a tree. The Mage was easily defeated.

"How did you-" He began.

"I don't know." I replied as I dropped my head onto Erza's shoulder. It was soft. She must have requipped her armor away to carry me. She is kind.

We resumed walking until Erza stopped near a clearing. "Underground. Here." She placed me on the ground gently and requipped a shovel. It was a rather large shovel, in that it was twice her size in width. She still overdoes things. I sat on the ground and closed my eyes.

I'm nervous. Is it because I died fighting a dark guild? Probably.

Erza announced that she was finished and hopped into the hold that she made. We followed and were surrounded by dark mages. There were snickers and I felt a blast come out of my hand and hit five of them. Erza looked startled. "They are in the shadows. Don't let them fool you. My last mission was just like this, except they weren't mages." I said calmly.

We began to fight all of the dark mages. I felt good. A smirk tugged on my face, but I knew it wasn't visible. I was fighting so many, I thought that I was beating Erza at the number I had defeated.

Then I felt pain. I felt a hole rip through my chest. Where my heart was. So nostalgic.

I'm dying again, aren't I?

DONE!

**Cliffhanger, I know. But it was a long chapter. Please review, I would really appreciate it. Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed and I shall see you soon!  
-BloodyTeddyBear**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello everyone! I know I'm late, I've been very busy for the past few weeks. I left you all with a cliffhanger too, I'm sorry for that. Anyways, I'm back and I'll be trying to update every week, if not, then every other week. Please review because it would make my day. I hope you enjoy and I shall see you soon!**

**-BloodyTeddyBear**

(Lucy's POV)

So nostalgic.

Am I dying again?

"I'm sorry for being so weak." The words slipped out of my mouth.

I looked down to my chest and saw the sword poking through it.

"It happened again." I said quietly. I closed my eyes and waited. I fell to my knees. The sword slid out of it's resting place and I didn't feel any different. I pulled my left eye open and looked down.

I opened both of my eyes and looked down again. No blood. No sword. No hole.

"Do that again." I demanded. In shock, the man with the sword stabbed the same spot. I felt a tingle around the sword.

Is it because I am already dead?

Am I not able to die again?

The sword was removed and started stabbing random areas on my body. It tickled.

It stabbed through my stomach an I grabbed the blade. I tugged on it, but the man wouldn't let go. I ripped it away from his grasp and pulled it through the hole in my stomach. The hole disappeared in mere seconds and I wrapped my hand around the handle.

It was a very light sword.

I swung it around a few times, stabbing the mages that surrounded me. Blood flowed on the ground and covered my body.

A nostalgic scent.

Metallic and nauseating.

Before I could realize it, all of the dark mages were dead. Most were piled on top of each other, or stuck in groups near the walls.

What is this feeling?

It's a bubbly feeling in my chest.

Sorrow?

Regret?

Guilt?

No.

Pride?

Yes. Pride. I'm proud of myself that I wasn't weak. That I could fight on my own. Unlike my old self.

Even though I was stabbed repeatedly, I claimed victory.

What an odd feeling.

I put the blade of the sword on my shoulder and looked at my surroundings.

Blood everywhere. One person was stabbed through the chest like I was.

Is that what I looked like when I died?

It doesn't matter now, does it?

I won.

I heard heavy breathing and saw my teammates staring at me.

"What?" I asked.

"You just- you-" Natsu started.

"Killed- look at all of the blood-" Gray continued.

"You were stabbed- you-" Wendy asked frantically.

"You aren't dead?" Lisanna questioned.

Then the answer came to me. "My heart was already broken." I turned away from the stares and jumped outside. I threw the sword at a tree near the edge of the clearing.

I sat cross-legged, and felt wet drops on my thighs. Instinctively, my hand went to my cheek. It was covered in salty tears.

Then I heard thunder. I looked up to the sky, which was covered in grey masses of clouds. Raindrops started to fall.

"I wonder if the sky actually does reflect the dead." I pondered aloud. "Perhaps this storm is a coincidence."

...(Flashback)...

"Lisanna?" Natsu asked as Pantherlily pulled her out from behind a bush.

"Natsu!" Lisanna jumped onto Natsu with a hug.

Everyone was crying with glee as their old friend returned.

..(End)..

It was raining when Lisanna came back. Is the sky showing happiness? Sadness?

Rain is a confusing substance.

It could rain in the winter, where it is cold and gloomy; or it could rain in the spring, where it brings life and colors.

Life is like rain. Isn't it? Sometimes good, sometimes bad.

"Elle!" Someone shouted. I didn't care who, as long as it wasn't my own self. As long as I wasn't losing my sanity.

I turned my head to the five mages and two cats behind me. They were drenched in water. Don't they know not to run in the rain?

"What?" I asked.

"You were stabbed, shouldn't you need medical help?" Wendy asked.

"No." I looked at the sky. It was pouring now.

I wonder if there are others like me. Angels- I cringe just thinking of the word. I wonder if they are on Earthland, or in the sky somewhere.

I felt a hand on my back. I moved my head to see Wendy concentrating her magic to heal me.

"Your attempts are pointless." I said.

Her eyes widened and she looked at me with shock. "There was no heartbeat." She gasped out.

"Because my heart is broken. Literally. Didn't I already tell you that?" I stood up and stared at the ground. "Do you need more proof?" I asked.

She nodded and I placed my hand to my chest, where my heart resides. I pressed my hand into my skin and searched for the organ. I found it and delicately pulled it out. There were cracks in it, like a broken vase that was quickly glued together; and a thin hole in the middle, from where I was stabbed. My heart was purple. My eyes grew wide.

I think I am the first to see their own heart. It's peculiar.

"I don't know why I did that." I said, studying my heart. I heard gags from my teammates and I pressed my heart back into my chest. I shivered. "That feels weird."

"Please, don't do that again." Lisanna begged.

"Why would I? I didn't like that either. Did you assume I did that for the fun of it?" I questioned. She stood speechless. Why do I feel so angry when she talks? I turned away from them.

After a pause, Gray spoke. "Does that mean that you're..."

"Dead. Yes. I'm not sure why I am this though. It is repulsive. I died and was dead. It was a nice place. I enjoyed it. Dark and quiet where I could reflect my life. Then there were voices, and I was in a forest. After that, Natsu found me and brought me to Fairy Tail."

I rambled.

My throat started to burn. "I liked being dead. It was great. Better than my life. All of the pain was gone. It was just me. No one else. Just me. I was alone and I was perfect. I liked it. I died for a reason. I shouldn't be here now. I wasn't supposed to. Why? Why couldn't I just stay dead?!" I raised my voice and pounded my fist into the ground beside me. The ground shook. My eyes tingled and black drifted in and out of my vision.

"Why am I this? I. I liked being dead. I liked the end of my life. My heart broke and I died not long after. Why couldn't I stay dead?" I whispered shakily. I realized then, that I had been sobbing. Tears were rolling down my neck and rain pelted onto my head.

There was a heavy feeling on my shoulder. I looked up and saw the cause. Erza Scarlett was forcing a smile and I smelled a tear mingled with the rain on her cheek. "Life is a good thing. Don't regret being given life. Whatever is in charge of life had to have had a great reason to bring you back right?" I looked away from her sympathetic face.

"I died for a reason. Why should something else choose that I can't have that end?" I countered. "You wouldn't know. Stop attempting to comfort me." I retorted. I stood up and pushed her hand off of my shoulder. "Keep the money. It is my gift to you." I told them all as I began to walk away.

There were mumbles of whether to follow me or not, but I did my best to ignore them. My hand rested on my forehead as I walked. They were far too loud.

Then I felt a tingle. I looked down and saw something. Again? Really? A dagger right through the heart. Again. I sighed and looked to the sky.

"Don't even try. I'm already dead. I don't have any money. Leave before I kill you." The person shook furiously and ran away after taking the dagger back. Three times I was stabbed. In the same spot.

Reliving the moment of my death. Re-dying could it be called?

Either way, fate wants me dead, and something else wants me alive.

What could it be? An evil force that plans to control the world? No, I doubt it. I couldn't be used for such an extravagant strategy.

"When she was stabbed, why did she say what She said?" A voice echoed in my mind. "My head hurts." Whose voice was that?

"Natsu!" A higher voice screeched. Was that Natsu just before? Then Happy?

"Natsu-San!" Wendy?

Why can I hear them?

"It hurts." Natsu mumbled.

"It will be okay, just stay calm." Wendy said.

What is going on?

"Gray, make a fire." She said.

"Yeah." Gray replied.

What would they need a fire for?

Before I knew it, I was running back to them.

"Elle?" Erza asked.

"What is going on? I heard panicking."

"I'll show you." She grabbed my hand and pulled me to Wendy, Happy, and Natsu.

Natsu was on his knees, clutching at his head and chest. Happy was trying to calm him, and Wendy was trying to search for the problem. Lisanna was holding her hand to her mouth and was on the brink of tears. "It hurts." He groaned. I ran over to him and touched his head.

I focused some of my magic into my palm and pushed it into his body. I kept my eyes closed because I had no idea what would happen.

There was a snap, then a roar. I opened one of my eyes to take a peek.

**DONE!**

**Cliffy! Sorry for not updating sooner, I haven't been able to find the right words. Hopefully I'll be updating next week or the week after that. Please review, because opinions are appreciated. I hope you enjoyed and I shall see you soon!**

**-BloodyTeddyBear**


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